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Diary of a working class angel ❈

31/07/2025

I was on the train to Manly Zine fair on Saturday, my nerves a little frayed and a half dozen shiny, silver rhinestones stuck to my face. Wearing the angel get up in public can be a little daunting depending on what mood you are in because you never know what people are thinking. Some days that feeling is exhilarating and other times, like today when I am loaded up with social anxiety, it makes you feel self-conscious. I sit with my arm wedged through the handle of my little suitcase (the newest edition to my zine fair gear hello) head down and headphones while I scratch away at the sketchbook balanced on my lap.

The doors open and three older ladies walk in. One of them makes eye contact with me and I feel myself go a bit stiff. My mind immediately jumps to conclusions. I must be sitting in the wrong seat, or maybe I look wrong in some way. Maybe I didn’t blend the make up on my face properly. I still have not grown out of that feeling of being wrong by just existing.

We all sit in silence, and I continue to scratch away at my book. I tuck the anxiety away. Most people are more concerned with themselves and will not take notice of you anyway. It is important for me to grapple with that panic and exist anyway. It is the whole point.

Suddenly one of the ladies leans forward. I automatically tense up.

You look beautiful by the way! She beams at me. I notice how pretty her eyes are and her smile is so sweet. Her friends are staring at me to, they are all beautiful too.

My thoughts scramble and I blurt a compliment back to her, and then at the other ladies too. It is easy to find something beautiful to say about a kind person. Warmth and relief bloom in my chest spreading to my cheeks. I love this feeling and despite my anxiety lately about my inability to connect to other humans I still manage to stumble upon things like this. They feel like little miracles every time.

We chat about where we are all going that day and I tell them I am going to sell my art at. They ask if I could take a photo of them, then they ask if I want one too. I go about the rest of my day with a little bit of that magic inside my chest.

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On art block, keeping up the momentum is the most important thing. Half the time when you feel like you cannot create it is not the fact you do not have ideas or skills it is everything that comes in between that kills your motivation. Doubt, fear of failing and worrying about what other people will think. But the only way out is through. Just keep moving forward creatively and something good will happen. Something that is made poorly and exists is worth more than a perfect idea that sits in your brain untouched.